Official Pie Prize Wonderland


AFL Dave's Mom's Thanksgiving Pie
Thanksgiving-Pie-Guessing Contest

If you're here, then you probably have made, or will soon be making, your guess for this year's contest and are wondering just what kind of mouth watering pie is in store for you if you win. No joke, if you win, you get a home baked pie from your's truly, AFL's resident pie baking goddess.

Here's the scoop on the pie flavors available to the winners.

Here are a few examples of pies that will make the trip.......


Nut Pies
Sweet Potato
Pumpkin Pie

Berry Pies
Fruit Pies
Raisin Pie

ENTER THE CONTEST!

 

 

I come from a long line of pie goddesses and my pies are top notch. Still need more convincing? Then read these testimonials.

"Traci is a good friend and a fabulous pastry chef. I haven't once gotten sick from eating her pies. And she's such a bitch, too."

- Helen Read, AFLer of the Year

"I've tasted Traci's goods. In one word: delicious. In more words: hot,tasty, delectable, luscious, savory, succulent, flavorsome. It's all I've thought about since then. I just can't get my mind off her sweet, sweet..huh? PIES? What the hell are you talking about? I've never tasted her FOOD! Oh? um.. yeah.. pies! She's a good cook. Right. I knew what we were talking about."

-Chad Riden

Traci's cookies are the highlight of the holiday season - or, as I like to call it, "the dessert season." If her pies are half as good... well, let's just say that Miss Cleo, Kreskin and intuitive Debra Lynn are going to have a pretty damn merry Christmas.

-Kathie Freeman

"Traci's hot muffins can make Brad Hill cry out for mommy in Eastern Standard Time."

Kar/Kel

From her hands to God's mouth.... them's sure is good pies!! Little Debbie has nothing over Traci's Pies

-Renee

Pie? I like pie.

-Ann

Even celebs have something to say about my pies.....

Ma Traci's Grill & Dry Dock

Every day's an "eating orgy" at this huge, "crowded", "noisy" waterfront shack where the bargain "protein binges" consist of grilled "meat, meat and more meat" consumed "until you say uncle" in a space resembling a "third-world abattoir". Bring your "hollow leg" and tackle the only 72 oz. Porterhouse on the Atlantic coast, touted as "government approved" and "good for your skin". "Dust off your concertina" and mingle with "crusty old salts" who swim ashore for homemade desserts that are "groin-grabbingly transcendent". Health inspectors rave: "you'll come for the pies, you'll stay for the table dancing" (or is it the other way around?).

Food 29; Decor 3; Service 26; Cost $5

-Carl Zagat

"WHO DO I HAVE TO FUCK TO GET SOME OF TRACI'S PIE?"

- Kathleen Ankers

I've known Traci since she was a child, and it was clear from an early age that she was hellbent for gustatory greatness. She began baking crusts even before wearing her first support garments. Those early efforts (at baking, not getting dressed) were doughy, heavy, and tasteless. Yet the early crusts showed promise of flakier, more savory delights to come.

By the time she entered the Indiana Institute of Icing and Related Bakery Pursuits, Traci had mastered crusts and was introduced, for the first time, to fillings. A whole new world opened before her, and Traci's early experiments demonstrated blazing creativity, if an unusual sensibility in combining ingredients. It was during this formative period that her Carrot Seaweed Meringue gained notice in Midwestern Pie Biweekly.

Traci's first attempt to join filling and crust resulted in a cobbler-like confection that she called "apple poo." Nobody liked it, and Traci plunged into a prologed period of depression, oven fixation, fruit abuse, lack of punctuality, odd clothing choices, and general perversion. Fortunately, she pulled out of it.

Her pies are fine. Anyone who declines a piece is a doodie-head.

-Alan Greenspan

"I'd give my left nut to taste one of Traci's pies."

- Richard Belzer